If there is one thing I could tell my younger self, it would be to label things. Sometimes not having a label is a blessing and sometimes it's a curse.
There have been mementos from my childhood that I kept for some reason and rediscovered them 20 years later. I look at them and I think, “What is this? Why did I keep this? What did it mean to me?” There’s no label and if I can’t remember what it was I usually get rid of it. These things are usually some kind of ephemeral thing that is easy to let go of. In these cases, not having a label can sometimes make it easier to let them go. And just as often, I also find labeled things of this nature and decide it’s time to let go of them since they don’t hold as much meaning to me as they once did.
However, the vast majority of time I regret that I didn’t label something. There are things I find that I end up racking my brain trying to remember what they are and why I kept them; I agonize over it for days, sometimes weeks. Even worse though are the things I know exist that I can’t find.
Lately what’s been on my mind are two cassette tapes. There was a time in school that I ended up interviewing my paternal grandfather and my boy’s friend’s mother (she’s now my mother-in-law) for an assignment. I learned so much about the two of them, what they were like as teenagers, how they ended up in their professions, and life wisdom they had. It was two wonderful afternoons.
My mother-in-law is alive and I can interview her again (and need to), but I can’t remember a lot of the questions I asked her back then; I can’t remember all the details of the conversation. As for my grandfather, sadly he has since passed on and I would dearly love more than anything in the world to hear his voice again. I’ve looked through my main tape collection and none of them are labeled with anything that I think could be these interviews. But a huge portion of my tapes aren’t labeled at ALL!!!!!
I’ve started listening to these tapes in the hopes of finding the interviews. So far I’ve found an accompaniment tape of songs from my high school voice lessons, a recording of me playing my alto saxophone (I think this dates from junior high and might be the only recording of me playing solo), a recording of a college homework assignment, and a recording of a performance of the Messiah from when I was in the UA Concert Choir.
I’ve got a lot more tapes to listen to and I’m hopeful that I will find them, but have no idea how long it might take me.
Wish me luck.